▐ DearDiary #6▐ An Old Friend

This is something really private and I somehow hope that I'm able to express more on these on my blog like how I usually did in the pass. But you know when you become more 'public', it's hard to just expressing yourself. You have to be responsible for whatever you are saying and posting. But today, I just 'die-die' have to blog about this lol.

So here's the story. I received a msg from my really old friends. We met 10 years ago, we are not really closed to each other. I name that person as 'B'. I went to have lunch with my besties today. Then suddenly while we are talking with each other, my phone rang. I open the notification and be like 😳🤔 I received a msg from B and then I scroll up to see the previous conversation and it is like super duper long time ago.

I never really texting or keep in touch with B as B also never text me + not really close at all after I enter Uni. Whenever B text me, I'm sure B need help on something or asking me to do something. It's quite scary and I never feel so afraid to receive msg from anyone before. But you know sometime when you are too 好人 (kind), people always give you trouble and when you don't know how to reject it. The trouble become your problems and you get really frustrated with thing you don't want to do but you are forcing yourself to do that and ended up with bad impression and maybe no more friend after that lol.

So B texted me saying that it's been awhile since the last time we met. Yes I answered B in a friendly way. Then B told me B wish to have some tea time with me dressing up nicely, high tea and ask me to bring Smelly together to join the tea time too. But people who know me and Smelly well, you know Smelly is quite shy. He not really know how to respond to stranger especially people who don't even close with me.

So I immediately replied B like, sorry I don't think Smelly can make it. Then me and my friend keep discussing the 'ultimate reason' of this text. Like have you ever experience the same thing like me? I suddenly think of maybe selling some product or like the past asking me to help in promoting something? Or B just being so nice want to catch up with me? But B will bring husband together to the meet up. Is this possible? I don't even talk with B husband before lol

But I guess the last reason is too impossible to be a real reason. Then we came out with a conclusion. There's something that B must need me. So I just continue to have my lunch with my bestie, fetching her back and come back to my house. I sit in front of the laptop and thinking why not to look for B facebook see how's her life going lol. This is really stalker mode. 

Then I realised she's selling something. So I very </3 💔 but also at the same time thinking maybe I misunderstand it? Or maybe B is really the 1% of people who just simply miss me or wish to catch up with me lol. But again, my friend told me confirm B need something from me. So I really don't know, but throwback to my previous experience meeting with my old friends there are always someone who try their best by asking me to be insurance agent, selling me MLM products, asking me to help promoting this and that.

I feel quite disappointed in a way that I gave them my precious time, but they use it in a wrong way. Never respect my feeling ever and don't really feel like talking with them anymore since most of them just basically promoting their product or don't even interested about you. lol They just hope to get your signature sign on the paper or else buying their product. Have you experience that too? Maybe in a similar way? I understand and respect them as my friend but sometime it's really tiring as I always believe they have no intention to do this to me. Maybe just when they are really urgent or need to fight for the sales?

But I tried the best to help them. Just sometime when it's out of my control, I will blame myself for being too kind or too soft heart for that. Or is that I'm really selfish to put myself first as a priority. I really don't even know and it's hard for me to reject them face to face. 

So after years of experience all these, I finally learned how to speak for myself. Not being selfish but being real and because it's also a way of respect myself and them too. Whenever I feel uncomfortable I should tell them right away. To let them know our feeling and know that it's not a good way to catch up like that. Yes, I should stop thinking too much and let see what's next. Hopefully it's not something disappointing. 

Yes, let's pray lol. Hope I won't 掉眼鏡 this time. If not next time whenever date me out in such a random way I will just try my best to ignore lol.